Asking Questions
Societal norms in the 1980s permitted those without security screening or proof of ticket purchase to waltz through an airport to pick up loved ones or accompany them to their gate.
In 1984 I had a boyfriend that traveled frequently and I took advantage of this airport practice, greeting him at the site of his arrival often. One night, however, his plane was delayed by an hour and I was left to my own devices in the terminal. After purchasing a cup of coffee, I planted myself in the seating area adjacent to the gate.
A young man also waiting for someone on that plane sat down next to me. We struck up a conversation. Making small talk, I asked him if he lived in Los Angeles and what he did for work. He proceeded to tell me his life story and how he had just moved to Los Angeles to pursue his songwriting dream.
My eyebrows raised and a slight smirk out across my face. “What a stroke of luck for him,” I thought to myself, “He’s sitting next to a real-life music publisher who could help or at least point him in the right direction!” I waited for a lull in his monologue to let him know that his big break might be sitting next to him in an airport terminal.
I waited and I waited. Then, I waited some more. I started to wonder whether he was planning to ask me any questions or continue talking about himself until the delayed plane arrived. Shockingly, I didn’t get a word in edgewise. He never asked me what I did. He never asked me anything, actually. He was so self-absorbed that he missed an opportunity of a lifetime.
I started to get a little mad, but then I felt pity.
Connections are important in any field you go into. In a social profession like songwriting, connections are everything. Only by asking questions and listening can you develop relationships that open doors. If you only talk about yourself, you’ll never know if you’re speaking with someone who can help you get ahead. Without the social tact to inquire about the stranger in the seat next to him, this young man missed out on a connection that could have changed the course of his life.
The plane finally landed. I parted ways with the young man, waving goodbye and wishing him luck on his songwriting journey. The next day I returned to my office, helping songwriters who were living the dreams the young man at the airport rattled on and on about.
